I'm currently a music producer, and a future club/party/rave/what ever DJ.
I also sing, write, and perform vocals cause I'm an Artist also (Boyowa, Artist name)
DJ DO
@DaveGuy
Age 29, Male/They
Musician & Artist
Canada
Joined on 7/23/09
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Kajenx
I like the song, it's well written, and has a nice style, but the mixing needs some work (IMHO). Not sure what program you're using, but do some research on compression, the balance between levels on each instrument might be your problem, and a multiband compressor on the master mixer definitely helps a lot with that.
If you're using fruity loops and want to send the file over I can do some mixing on it and send it back to you. Not to imply that I'm better or anything, lol, but sometimes a different ear is all you really need. Setting it aside for a few weeks can work too.
Anyhoo, keep it up! Once you get that sound you're looking for it's a great feeling, and you seem pretty close!